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timpeltjeI would make a good astronomer, mostly because I am awake at night while other people are sound asleep, dreaming about participating in the Tour de France and coming 16,807th (an honourable ranking considering that this dreaming person's mother, who also participated, gave up after one day).
This being said, I would also make a good astrologist, because A) like I said, I am awake at night so I can stay up to answer astrology hotline phone calls from desperate people seeking help from the stars, and B) I can talk a lot of crap.
The asteroid 2005 YU55 (what's in a name, right?) would pass us by tonight, and astronomers told us it really really wouldn't hit us. If I were an astronomer (now we come to the part where I explain why I would be a good one), and I would discover an asteroid may be headed straight towards the genital area of a 28-year-old narcissist in Belgium to then kill off the entire continent and intoxicate the rest of the world, I wouldn't bother revealing the truth to the government that pays my salary. I would say "no, it definitely won't hit us" upon which I would rush off to my nearest ALDI, buy everything they have, then head home and start digging a shelter. Or maybe I'd hijack a plane and head for Hawaii.
What also speaks for me, is that I don't turn into a conspiracy theorist, saying everything that astronomers said about the matter is a lie and that we in fact are all doomed subjects, awaiting judgment from our Master Lord Xenu and his warrior princess with a heart of stone, but a bosom like thirteen cardboard boxes filled with cabbages (you can tell I am not used to making similes for bosoms, but I can compensate this in other ways, I promise).
Of course, tonight I did protect my genital area (just in case the prophecy above would have come from a reliable source), I may not look wise, but I do know a comet blast on my testes won't make me look much better either.
Let that be my wisdom of the day.
This being said, I would also make a good astrologist, because A) like I said, I am awake at night so I can stay up to answer astrology hotline phone calls from desperate people seeking help from the stars, and B) I can talk a lot of crap.
The asteroid 2005 YU55 (what's in a name, right?) would pass us by tonight, and astronomers told us it really really wouldn't hit us. If I were an astronomer (now we come to the part where I explain why I would be a good one), and I would discover an asteroid may be headed straight towards the genital area of a 28-year-old narcissist in Belgium to then kill off the entire continent and intoxicate the rest of the world, I wouldn't bother revealing the truth to the government that pays my salary. I would say "no, it definitely won't hit us" upon which I would rush off to my nearest ALDI, buy everything they have, then head home and start digging a shelter. Or maybe I'd hijack a plane and head for Hawaii.
What also speaks for me, is that I don't turn into a conspiracy theorist, saying everything that astronomers said about the matter is a lie and that we in fact are all doomed subjects, awaiting judgment from our Master Lord Xenu and his warrior princess with a heart of stone, but a bosom like thirteen cardboard boxes filled with cabbages (you can tell I am not used to making similes for bosoms, but I can compensate this in other ways, I promise).
Of course, tonight I did protect my genital area (just in case the prophecy above would have come from a reliable source), I may not look wise, but I do know a comet blast on my testes won't make me look much better either.
Let that be my wisdom of the day.
