'Emo Planemo'

'So, what happened this week then?'
'Well, there was this thing in the sky, right...'
'The sun?'
'No, not the sun! It's this thing called a planemo and there are millions of them scattered about the universe.'
'And what are they, then?'
'They're planets whose mother stars didn't want them, the man on National Geographic said in a sad and gloomy voice and they're everywhere, only we can't see them, but we can feel them, in our hearts maybe.'
'And...'
'Well, they're all alone without the warmth of their parent star, orphans of the sky, lone travellers among the mystic voids of space, eternal wanderers of the universe, rejected by all and everything.'
'That's a bit overemotional, isn't it?'
'Well, no, because there could be life on them, kittens who also get abandoned by their parents because the parents thought "well, since our sun didn't want to keep us warm, why should I give my kitten warmth? Why don't I just abandon it?" And then the kitten would die!'
'But it would be too cold for life on them, so the kitten would be dead anyway, wouldn't it?'
'No, the man said that there was life possible, because of global warming before the planet got thrown out of its solar system, so there could be microbes and other life, maybe tortoises or Mongolians or something.'
'Thrown out of its solar system?'
'Yeah, and then we're having global warming too, so maybe the sun will reject us too and throw us out because we didn't care for the polar bears, even though they would attack us if we tried to take a photo of them having a baby, unless we do it in a Dutch zoo but don't tell anyone about it.'
'I don't think you need to worry about that happening.'
'But maybe we could adopt one of these lonely planets. There's room enough in our solar system, isn't there?'
'I'm afraid it doesn't really work that way, Timmy.'
'Oh, I know there will be lots of paperwork for the adoption, but I can fill that in. If every solar system would adopt another planet or two, maybe there wouldn't be any abandoned planets any more and all the planemos wouldn't feel so lonely any more, and then the kittens living there will see their mummies again, so they can drink milk and have a chance to grow up.'
'...'
'I want a pretty planemo, though, not an ugly one with lots of oil and refuse. Or maybe we can take a pretty one, but also an ugly one, so they won't be jealous. But no red ones!'
'Why not red ones?'
'Because that would upset Mars, because then Mars will be thinking it will be replaced and think that people will say, "Oh! Did you see that new red planet, it's so young and pretty, let's go there instead of boring old Mars!" and then Mars would be lonely too, even with the sun shining on it.'
'Anything else you don't want them to have?'
'They cannot be named after chocolate bars or Disney characters, because the other planets won't like that.'
'Planets aren't named after Disney characters, they're...'
'YES, they ARE named after Disney characters! And besides, they should be named after... bananas... or chips, but not asparagus, because I don't like asparagus!'

*runs off to play*