Dear diary.

Changes are afoot. It might explain my silence of the past few weeks, but I have been fighting to categorise all of it (with my bare fists and feet I fought!). 
We can sense we are waiting for something. The lease of our apartment ends soon and we will find ourselves in Berlin, or in Brussels and Berlin, but away from here anyway. 
Change needs to happen. I have locked myself away from my work and myself lately. I have mostly been focussing on the huge amount of translation work I seem to have been doing. In a way I like it, because it always feels like it's stalling. It still doesn't feel like a real job even though I have spent 16 hours working non-stop one day last week. It's not a permanent situation, I know there are ups and downs in freelancing (it is like having an erection, it only happens between 1 and 16 hours a day, in my case that is (I know, I should see a doctor about this, but I'm thinking I'll be happy about this when I'm 60)). 
I cleaned up my attic yesterday, browsing to a huge amount of 'volume' I just seemed to carry around everywhere. I wondered why I kept my math notes from the last year in secondary school, or some comic book I got when I was ten for being the 5000th visitor (or something) to the local bird observatory. My criteria for keeping items were as straightforward as they were simple: have I ever needed it and will I ever need it? If not, the object met its maker in the Great Black Bag Of Death. Not much remains, I can tell you that. I see the Object and the Memory as two completely different things that don't require each other to survive. It's kind of a cleansing of all things unnecessary (I've never been such a fan of the past anyway).

I look forward to the move.

It will be weird if Erik would stay in Brussels for the job he was offered, but we realised that a long distance thing can work between us, even though it will be something to adapt to. We still assume we're moving together, but we'll see what happens. 

The future needs to happen. And I want it now.